Fulfillment

I hold his small sleeping body close against my chest in the dark of our bedroom. His skin melts into mine. Small pulses of air escape his open mouth onto my neck and into my ear. I think of putting him into the bassinet next to us so that I can return to sleep, but I just can't let go. And so I keep him close.

In this moment, I realize I have made it. This. This is the pinnacle of my success. I need nothing else.

Curdled spit-up pools in my bra between these breasts that are still unfamiliar to me. Often getting out of the house is the biggest goal of the day, and one we don't always fulfill. I am usually tired, hair almost always piled on my head, and many days I forget to brush my teeth until evening. Yet I feel more accomplished now than I have ever felt in my life. Everything I was ever chasing after was always this. I am content. Whole. At peace.

I am fulfilled.