Middle of June. Middle of the Week.

I knew my son was a morning person when he was in my belly. They say unborn babies are most active at night, usually when you stop for sleep, but I always felt the kicks and wiggles in the morning. I think it's a morning person, I'd say, still wondering if it was a boy or a girl.

That baby is almost six months old now, and the sensations of pregnancy have faded in my memory. How can something that was so intense and enduring be hard to remember?

My little boy rose just after five o'clock this morning. His dad changed him before passing his small body over to me. He wrapped his arms around my shoulders. He hugs now, and he hugs with his whole body.

After his morning milk, we sat together on the couch in the blue hour, just me and my little son. In silence, we watched the wind pummel the trees outside the large windows of our living room. Before long, he had nodded off to sleep under the crook of my arm. I carried him to our room, wrapped him up in muslin and placed my sleeping boy down in his crib.

I want to say so much more, but I hear him now on the monitor. His familiar screechy voice cracks the silence of this room. It's just about seven on a Wednesday.

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It's later, but still not quite eight. The whole house is awake now. It smells of eggs and coffee. The wind still blows and now there is rain too. I have retreated to the office where I can prepare for my day. There is much work to be done.

Kevan has been home with Grady for the last month and a half while I have been working on the preparation of our next build. I've also been transitioning out of my job at Seventy1 Environmental. I have worked long and hard these last seven weeks, and I am tired.

Insurance audits and taxes and accounting. Loan documents and lien waivers and budgets. Plus a hundred other things it seems. And mainly, construction plans. I designed the spec house we are about to build, something I have never done before, and it was quite the process. We are now awaiting one final signature on our building permit application, which we will hopefully submit today. Yesterday we sent off a bunch of bid requests to subcontractors, and all of that is now off my plate. Slowly it feels like there is a light at the end of the tunnel for me. What that light looks like is less tasks and more time. I am a bit overwhelmed right now.

But soon, most of this prep work will be done and I will pass the torch over to Kevan who will then carry most of the workload for our family. He will begin construction and once again our days will look different. Instead of all of us at home each day, he will leave in the mornings, and Grady and I will be alone with each other once more. I am very much looking forward to being a full time mommy again.

I am excited to return to our daily walks at the lake, something we haven't done since April. I will still have work to do, but my tasks shouldn't be stacked on top of each other in the way they have been these last weeks. My main priority will be our son and the household management. For now, I must finish out the remaining to-do's, but I am so close to the finish line.

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We are still isolating and social distancing, though we had our first gathering this past weekend at the park. It was so nice to be with family and share our son with company for the first time in months. Half of his life has been in quarantine. I still don't feel comfortable handing him over to be held by others quite yet. I am waiting for a knowing that the time is right, and I feel it coming, though it isn't quite here yet.

This weekend we will head north towards the Sawtooths and try a night of camping with Grady in a place other than our backyard. We will be with family under the trees and mountains and stars, and I couldn't be more excited.

For now, I shall open up my work day and make the most of this Wednesday.